Diapers to Date Nights….Hopefully

I saw a post today that said, “If you poured into your spouse the way you pour into your kids, your marriage would drastically change.”

Whew. I’ve never felt more attacked in my life. Like danggggg, just tag me next time.

Listen, y’all already know I’m a great mom. I’ve said it before: I was made for this. Being a mama is my favorite job, and I take it seriously. But if I’m being honest (and that’s what this blog is for), I haven’t always shown up as the best version of myself in the wife department. Not consistently, anyway. I don’t always put my husband first. Most days, I don’t even put us on the list. Life is too busy with kids and work and household chores.

Truthfully, we’ve both been slacking. I pour everything I have into the kids, and I feel like he pours into his job. And somewhere in the middle, we got lost.

And it wasn’t always like this. When we only had Naomi, we were still newlyweds figuring out life together. We had no problem dropping her off at my brother’s or calling up a babysitter so we could have a date night. And when she came along with us, she blended right in. We still felt like us.

We kept that balance for a good while. Four years of learning, growing, managing work, marriage, and parenting. Then Eden came along… and then Ian… and now baby Jace will join the chaos crew any day now . Somewhere along that journey, we stopped prioritizing each other and started prioritizing everything else.

And I miss him. I really do. I miss the version of us that existed before we were parents. When we were just two people in love, figuring it out day by day. I know life changes after kids, as it should. But I also think we might’ve overcorrected a little. Maybe a lot.

Now don’t get me wrong, we do spend time together. I mean… clearly. Four kids later, it’s obvious we still find time for something. But is it the kind of quality time that feeds our relationship? The kind that helps us grow, laugh, reconnect? Not really.

So this is my wake-up call. I’m going to have this conversation with my husband. I’m going to suggest that we start with two date nights a month, just us. No diaper bags, no distractions. Just time to be usagain. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

But if you're reading this and feeling the same way, let this be your wake up call too. Our marriages deserve just as much attention as our monsters. It’s easy to get lost in everyday life. Make sure you get lost in your spouse too.

Thanks for being here. I’m so glad you came.

— From somewhere in the chaos 🌻