Prideful Sloth
I was reading about the seven deadly sins and how to overcome them. At first glance, I thought, “Lust….. That’s definitely one I struggle with.” Childhood trauma, undealt wounds, and a whole lot of unspoken pain are wrapped up in that, but that’s a story for another day.
What really got me was when I kept reading and I realized I’ve been dealing with way more than just lust. Turns out, pride and sloth have been a big deal in my life too.
Let’s start with pride.
I like to blame my mom for that one. (Let me deflect a little before I take full accountability, lol.) She was a single mom raising two rebellious kids, and that woman never asked for anything from anybody. Ever. She was the true definition of getting it out the mud.Watching her handle life on her own made me believe that’s just what strong women do. And I wanted to be just like her.
And in a lot of ways, I am. Too proud to ask for help. Too used to doing everything myself. I don’t even ask my husband for anything, and it drives him nuts. He’ll walk into the kitchen while I’m juggling four different dishes and still hear, “I got it.” He always says, “You wanna be independent so bad, but I’m here to help.” And my response? “Then just help. Pick something and do it. I’m not about to tell you what I need.” (I just know I get on that man’s nerves 😂)
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help. I just never expect it. I’m not used to people showing up like that. But the truth is, I have a whole village behind me. A small but mighty one. My husband, my mom, my brother, my in-laws, and my 3.5 friends (you know who you are lol). They’re willing, able, and constantly offering to take some weight off my shoulders. I’m the one not letting them.
So yeah, I could blame my mom all day, but it’s time I take ownership. Pride has to go.
Now let’s talk about the lazy side of me.
Here’s the thing: I’m not lazy when it comes to my kids, my house, or my job. I’ll bust my butt for everyone around me. But when it comes to betterment of self? Babyyyyy, that’s where I drop the ball. I’ve been saying I want to go back to school for years now. YEARS. And yet, no enrollment. No applications. Just excuses.
"I’m too busy.”
“I’ve got too much going on.”
“I don’t have the time.”
But if I’m being real? I could absolutely make time. It might be tight, but it’s doable. And with all this AI out here, let’s be real, finessing an essay or discussion board ain’t exactly rocket science anymore.
And it’s not just school. Even with blogging. I first started my blog over a year ago. Wrote 5 or 6 posts. Got compliments. Got traction. And then… I stopped. Why? Because I got lazy. I didn’t want to put the work in. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen this time around. But this pattern goes all the way back to high school. I’d do just enough to keep my mom off my back but never really pushed myself the way I knew I could.
But no more.
I’m learning that pride and laziness are not just personal flaws, they’re spiritual battles. And I’m praying them off of me daily. But even prayer needs action. Faith without work is dead. I know I have to show up for myself the way I show up for everyone else. Nothing I want is going to fall into my lap overnight. It’s going to take time, effort, consistency, and surrender.
So here’s me, calling myself out…publicly.
Here’s me, being honest about what’s been holding me back (myself 😭).
And here’s me, saying it out loud so I can’t keep hiding from it.
To anyone reading this and feeling seen, maybe this is your call too. Let’s stop blocking our blessings because we’re too proud to ask for help or too tired to chase them.
We’ve got work to do.
But we’ve also got a village.
And that’s more than enough to start.
Thanks for being here. I’m so glad you came.
— From somewhere in the chaos 🌻
